斋戒，等待，思考

很久没有这种，坐在灯下，想要一口气读完一本书的渴望

此刻合上这本小书，脑海里回想起的是朴树的一句歌词: 只有奄奄一息过，那个真正的我，他才能够诞生

感谢黑塞

If I Could Help You by Leonard Cohen

If I could help you, buddy, I would
I really would
I’d pray for you
I’d make muscles appear on your back
I’d take you to a bridge
that people think is beautiful
if there were the slightest chance
that you’d like it
I’d get you that motorcycle
Id put your songs on the jukebox
if you were a singer
I’d help you step across
that crack in your life
I’d die for you on the cross again
I would do all these things for you
because I’m the Lord of your life
but you’ve gone so far from me
that I’ve decided to embrace you here
with my most elusive qualities
You always wanted to be brave and true
So breathe deeply now
and begin your great adventure
with crushing solitude
~ from Book of Longing (McLelland and Stewart, 2006)